A lil' of this, a lil' of that.

So...it's tuesday and I haven't smoked for almost two weeks. At midnight, it'll be two weeks.
It's so awesome! I mean, I can actually do this! Who would've thought?
But then...the past two days, I've been having these weird thoughts...like...I should go buy a pack of smokes and have one...you know, just because...I can easily quit again, you know?
It's pissing me off because 1) I have no right to be that cocky, 2) It's just an excuse and if I actually do that, I'll never quit, 3) There's just no point in it, it's like a kid missing his/hers teddybear...it's just a comfort thing.
These past few days have pretty much been hell around the house. I don't know if it's because my mom is jealous of me quitting my smoking or if she's just hating on me, these days, but she's been switching between ignoring me and making snippy comments in my general direction.
Actually, I think I prefer the ignoring. That way, I don't have to deal with her issues.
Then, the other day, my stepdad had the nerve to tell me to 'be a little more positive around your mother'. I was like 'excuse me?!'.
Okay, so maybe he's not completely wrong and I know it's a bad cycle, we're in. I mean, she gets pissy that I don't do enough around the house and that she has to do everything herself (which is really a matter of different priorities, seeing as I don't have the need to vacuum every single day and stuff), I get even more stubborn because really...she could just ask me to help, but she refuses and insists that I should be able to...I don't know...read her mind or something and I really can't and won't and then at some point, it all just explodes.
I'm sick of getting up in the morning and having to sort of sense what her mood is before I decide what -my- mood should be and I told him this, not to mention that I feel like I'm at work all the time because KOL (the disease my mom has, don't know its name in english) patients are in general selfish bastards, who thinks the entire world should adapt to their needs and be able to know their needs, before they utter them, not to mention that everyone should just do whatever the KOL patient wants them to, at all times.
We have a few of these patients at the nursing home and my personality just -refuses- to give into their little games and that goes, when I come home, as well.
All of this crap, of course, is bringing on the urge to smoke, even more...but I'm going to work tomorrow and I have 5 days of working, so if I can get through today, I should be able to get through another 5 days.
Tomorrow, is also INK-DAY! Ha! I'm gonna get my tattoo and I can't fucking wait. I called Rudolph on friday and he told me, harshly, that he wouldn't do the note-thing and I was like 'what?!'.
Then he corrected it and said that he'd do the notes, but not the lines on which the notes are and I started breathing again, lol.
I've been thinking the past few days. Remember how I wanted Nat's name tattooed? Well, I'm gonna wait with that until I get to Club Tattoo, because they can probably do it on my foot or something.
But until then...I wanted to do something that shows that she was a big part of this tattoo; finding me both the logo and the musical notes...so I'm thinking that I'll get the notes done in red and blue...you know, switch between the two colors.
And why is that? Because red is one of my favorite color and blue is one of Nat's. I'll have to talk to Rudolph, obviously, but it'd be cool if he'd do at least the g-key in blue.
Also..Nat's in Venezuela. I love that, simply because it enables me to text her, lol. And I don't love it, because it enables me to text her. Lol, makes sense, no?
Seriously...I love, love, love the fact that I'm able to text her whenever I want...well, I can do that when she's in Memphis, as well but in Caracas...she's actually able to answer me! And yes, this is absolutely awesome, because I love texting with her and I'd do it non-stop....if it wasn't so fucking expensive.
Not that I care all that much. I mean, if I feel like texting her, then I'll text her and it's only for three months and I knew all of this because we did the same thing last year, lol.
...and now I'm just rambling completely aimlessly.
I shall go burn my skin a bit more in the sun, now.