Keep fighting.

Okay, so my new positivity is already rubbing off.

Today, I feel like I've been generally positive and grown-up-ish and it actually feels good.

When my mom told me about my grandpa, I was able to keep an adult conversation about it and actually care, instead of just mumbling something incoherent and ignore it.

I've smiled more today, than I normally do and I've found that I actually like smilling. I've even smiled randomly while talking to Nat, which isn't really that unusual, because she often makes me smile, but today it's just felt different somehow.

I'm trying to keep the 'my good thing', selfless but I have to admit that today, it's completely selfish, although not in a bad way...or at least I don't think so.

My good things (yes, plural) today was that I smiled more, I helped my mom with some things, I offered to go to the hospital on thursday, I offered to take a leave of absence when my grandpa is going to die, to take care of him, if it's possible and I took a nap, which improved my mood.

I also managed to express my feelings towards Isa being sickly. And yes, I feel worried even if I don't know her and even if I don't want kids of my own.

She's just a youngling (SW moment, sorry, but she is) and she should just be healthy and run around, playing and looking as adorable as she does and not be sickly.

I really hope she feels better soon.

See, this feels good. I know, it's gonna take more than this, but seriously.... why did I have the need to sort of diss kids, when the truth is I think they're so cute (yeah, some more than others, lol) and even if I don't know how to deal with them and I don't want any of my own, I can't deny that I'm a big softie on the inside and I just need to try and express that a bit more.