I feel really good today. The urge isn't as bad as it was yesterday.
I get that it's only day 3 and that I'm still vulnerable and having withdrawals, but I actually feel like I don't want to smoke anymore.
I may -need- to, but that need can be suppressed because I really don't want to. I have to admit though...I'm more alone in this than I thought. I mean, I knew that I had to be alone in it because no one can quit smoking for me.
The people I've gotten the most support from...are actually complete strangers to me; Dane and Elka.
I heart them for backing me up and I heart them for sending me crazy-ass-supportive replies on Twitter because it's really helping me, but I'm surprised that some of the people closest to me are like...yeah, that's great or whatever...shit, my mom and stepdad are pretty much ignoring me when I tell them how long I haven't been smoking.
Maybe it's because most of the people I know, haven't been smoking in the first place and have no clue about what it's like to quit and my mom and stepdad...well, they're smoking away, so clearly they're not concerned.
I love the fact that Elka and Dane know what it's like to quit and even though they have crazy-busy lives, they still take the time to reply with a 'You kick ass!' or 'I'm so proud of you!! Yeah!!'...you know? It just feels good and it's just what I need, right now.
I feel surprisingly calm and actually very determined not to have any nicotine. I chewed a piece of nicotine gum 24hours ago and even though I'm sweating like a crazy person, from time to time because of withdrawals, I feel good and confident that I don't want to chew another piece because...well, because I'm trying to kick my nicotine addiction.
I keep thinking about Dane who quit a two-pack-a-day addiction and Elka and Chester, who quit a god-only-knows-how-many-a-day addiction, not to mention the fact that Chester quit his drug addiction and alcohol addiction.
He seriously makes me so proud and I'm like, if he can kick drugs and alcohol to the curb, I can sure as hell kick nicotine, man.
I will buy some more gum, today, as Elka instructed. I think it was the pastilles and withdrawals that made my stomach all weird and not the gum and it actually feels good to be chewing gum, even if it is the most annoying habit in the world..lol.

..and it's really stupid that I made this journal. No one's reading it and I might as well just be using my normal journal.
Yeah...gonna move this entry to my normal journal.........
There we go.