Okay, so this keeping positive thing is really difficult for me.

Not that I'm gonna give up or anything, but it's just really difficult. You know, I don't wanna become one of those super-positive-who-can't-even-see-the-bad/sad-thing-in-someone-dying kind of people and it's difficult for me to sort of draw the line, you know?

Not to mention that it's not something I can just do over night. I've been a pessimist for the better part of my life and, even though I'm not liking it, I'm 33 years old, so that's a lot of years.

I tried changing my ways, tonight, already.

I swear, I don't do it on purpose, but Nat said something about a banner, a friend of hers made and she commented on the color and I immediately went 'but it's not REALLY that color, more like blablabla color' and then I looked at what I had just said and was like WHAT. THE. FUCK?!

I don't even realize that I'm doing it, but it's like this built-in mechanism that I -have- to be right, all the time.

I know it was just a little thing, but if I don't change the little things, I can't change the big ones, either, so I just went 'It looks awesome.', because I really do think it looks awesome and it doesn't really matter what name you give the color, anyway.

I've decided to copy Mrs. Daughtry, as well and try to find a good thing, each day. Can be little things or big things, doesn't matter, but I wanna find one thing, every day that was good.

Today, my good thing was that I gave my mom a pair of sweatpants that I felt were too tight and she was happy about that.