Random stuff.

So the past week has been rough. Like I said in my previous post, Pierre was put down last monday.
That week was horrible, to be honest. I decided to buy cigarettes, after I left the vet, which was a huge mistake, I might add.
Tuesday went alright. I smoked the last around 10am and didn't smoke for the rest of that day.
Then came wednesday and work. Man, I felt so horrible and just wanted to hide under my covers, so I bought cigarettes when I went to work.
I've pretty much been smoking since and I'm actually hating myself for it, because I had gone almost 3 months without it and the first pack I smoked tasted horribly.
Right now, I'm not making myself any promises because I will hate myself even more, if I don't keep them.
I'm going to work in a few hours and all I know, is that I won't be bringing my cigarettes to work, with me.
And I also know that I'll quit again, and before I go to the states, too.
I really have no excuse, but only the explanation that I was feeling horrible and decided to smoke because I felt sorry for myself. Lame, definitely, but nevertheless the only explanation, I've got.
My co-workers keep telling me that I shouldn't be so apologetic about smoking again, because I'm an adult and that it's my decision and I know they're right, but that doesn't make me feel any less as a failure.
But yeah, as of today, I won't be smoking at work and the rest....well, I'll see what happens and keep you updated.
I still miss my dog, but at least it's not as bad as it was last week, so that's a good thing.
And I'm starting to see the positive things about not having a dog.....as cold as that makes me sound.

On a different, but lighter note....Nat went back to Memphis, yesterday which meant, from a very selfish point of view... that I had to be on my computer without her for an entire day.
We texted each other like crazy, the entire day and that will probably cost me a fucking fortune, but that's just too bad.
Next month will be horrible, anyway, money-wise because of the huge vet-bill.
But yeah, like last year, I felt like Nat was returning home to me, which I know is complete bullshit, because d'uh, she's in Memphis and not Denmark.
But yeah, for some reason, I always feel extremely mushy when she's traveling and I'm sure that I sometimes make her wanna vomit, a little, lol.

Other than that, I've started talking to a guy from a dating site. Lol, I'm so weird. He's nice and all, but he's not a potential anything, except for friend, for now.
He's been single for 7 years and I have been for 8, so we've decided that we're not gonna talk as if we're going to date or anything, because we really don't know if we will.
We talk via texts and on MSN, but it's not something that happens every single day and that suits me fine, because the last thing I need is some clingy guy who thinks I'm his true love after 5 texts and two talks on MSN.
Also, I've already told him about my plans of going to see Nat, next year, so even if something should happen, he'll know that in advance, because I'm not canceling that trip for some random guy.
But it's cool, because he travels a lot, as well and is planning to go to Australia some time, next year, so that's pretty cool.
So yeah, things seem to be working out alright for me, right now, well apart from the smoking.

And I postponed updating because I didn't think that I had anything to say, lol.