Ramble.

So I was feeling pretty weird last night. On one hand, I really didn't feel like being online and I was not very talkative, to say the least, but on the other; I was feeling needy and unloved.
I was such a mess that when Nat left to meet Isaac for the first time, I almost wanted to cry.
I'm so lame, man. I barely spoke to her, all night and then she leaves and I'm a mess; feeling abandoned and alone.
Again, I was having the whole this-is-how-I-think-and-feel-and-you-should-too attitude and it really does piss me off.
Again, I was unenthusiastic and a bitch, when she told me that Eli had her baby, it was a boy and he'd be named Isaac.
Why is it that I do that? Why is it that when I'm feeling weird/like crap, I can't even be happy or excited for other people? And especially Nat, who means so much to me.
No one's asking me to jump up and down, clapping my hands over Eli and Isaac because I don't know them, but a little more than 'cool' would really be awesome.

I know why I was feeling like that and it's something that I constantly try to get rid of. Sometimes, it works and sometimes, like last night, it doesn't.
I can't help the way I feel, but I swear that I try to minimize it or at least hide it, because it's really not cool, at all.
I try to tell myself that I shouldn't feel like that, because I really do not have any right to and it -has- gotten better...a lot better, actually. But sometimes, it just overwhelms me and I can't help myself.

So yeah..that was last night...now, it's a new day and even though I'm not feeling 100%, just yet...I got my period and I have a staff meeting that I really don't feel like going to...I'm gonna be in a better mood, today, simply because it's too fucking draining to feel like I did, last night.
So...on to charging my iPod and shower, because I have to get on the bus in two hours.