Ranting and obsessing.

I've spend the past week (mostly days off, of course), having a cold. Isn't that awesome? Me..I never get sick...never.
And I end up with a cold that pretty much felt like it was about to take me down. I forget how awful it feels to be sick and then when I do get sick like...once a year or whatever, I feel like I'm on the brink of death.
Now, I've called in sick yesterday and today, simply because I didn't feel 100%. Right now...I still don't. My nose is stuffy and my neck is sore, but I still think that I'm gonna go to work tomorrow.
Simply because it drives me a little crazy when I stay home for too long and I start obsessing about things...tiny, little, itty bitty things that should not be that big of a deal.
Like the following.

I become sad when I feel like I'm left out. Even with small things like a headache or whatever. It saddens me that it doesn't seem important enough to tell me...or that I'm not important enough to tell.
I hate it, but it disappoints me to no end, when there's not a message there in the morning. I kinda feel like I just don't matter.
I definitely feel disconnected and I don't think it's just about ATS, either. Maybe it's the age difference setting in?
That scares the crap out of me, to be honest. Mostly because I don't want it to. God, I'm so co-dependent and it bugs the hell out of me.

And I really don't care all that much about Linkin Park, anymore, either. I see all these sites put up interviews and whatnot on Twitter...and I just ignore it and sometimes get a little bit annoyed because I just don't care.
It's not that I don't want to watch the boys being interviewed, but I think that if I hear one more time that ATS is suuuuuuch an amazing album or how awesome the boys are for going out of their comfort zone or whatever, I think I might cry tears of frustration.
People are definitely entitled to their opinion and all and I respect that...but man, it just gets a little old when you've heard how fucking brilliant it is and how amazing and yada yada yada, for the millionth time, especially when you don't feel the same about it.
I've only listened to the damned thing twice, but honestly....I really don't have the urge to listen to it again.
I will, but I really don't feel like doing it. And I know I'm gonna skip a lot. Mike may say that you have to listen to the album from start to finish and bla bla, but honestly...I just can't be bothered and I tried that already and it just didn't do anything for me...at all. I was just waiting for it to be over, already.
All the non-songs are bugging the crap out of me and I know I'll skip them...much like Give Me Your Name by DBS, I probably won't give them a third listen, at all.
It bothers me that I -know- that there are A LOT of things that I'm not told or that is changed to be something safe, like on that horrible video from the other day.
I don't understand that. Yeah, I do it when my reply seems too bitchy or whatever but other than that...what's the worst that can happen? That you're honest and figure out that the world didn't implode.
It makes me sad, when people refer to me as a friend or sometimes, even best friend and still don't share things with me. I get that some things may seem to be/are irrelevant or just those every day things that don't seem important...but personal things...are you not supposed to share those with your best friend? I thought so.

Ramblings.

- Exercise (zumba and whatnot).
- Pride Parade on Saturday (21st).
- Meeting Nick for coffee on Sunday and maybe go to dinner at his place or something, some other day.
- Help my mom with weeds in the garden (because I just promised her a few minutes ago, lol).
- Finally finish organizing my bedroom and living room and clean them.
- Maybe have Nick for a visit.

It's almost time to go back to work. I go back on Wednesday.
I've exercised as I wanted to and I had the BEST time during Pride Parade! Kirsten and I walked with the Parade from start to finish - 3½ hours of walking and dancing and I ended up pretty drunk by the time we went home but I had an awesome time and I'm doing it again next year, that's for sure.
I didn't meet Nick for coffee because I got drunk at the parade, but then I told him that I couldn't imaging sleeping with him and he didn't want to keep dating me, then.
That's alright with me. Even if I think he could've been good for me, I think he would've had to be as a friend because I just wasn't attracted to him like that.
Yeah, he was sweet and whatnot, but also very, very curious about my economy and whatnot and that made me a bit paranoid, plus the fact that I just couldn't imagine having sex with him.
I'm not completely done with my bedroom and living room, but I'm getting there, lol. I'm so lazy.

It's about time for me to go back to work, though. I'm starting to feel slightly depressed-y and I'm extremely over sensitive and I get so easily hurt if my girl doesn't say what I expect her or reply right away or something and it's just very unfair.
I've just had a few days where I've felt extremely unloved, sad and pathetic and the fact that she's slightly pms-y and whatnot doesn't exactly help the situation.
So yeah...I need to go back to work.

Oh yeah and I saw the video for The Catalyst...and it made me like the song a bit more.
Seriously, the video is AWESOME and so beautiful and I'm a little bit obsessed with it, though I really don't want to be.
Yes, that's completely lame and very childish but it just annoys me a little bit that the song, I found to be seriously annoying, repetitive and so beneath my boys' talents, started growing on me, the second that I saw Mr. Hahn's (whom I really don't like as a person..the person we know, anyway) video for it. I guess that only says good things about Joe because he really is a good director..but yeah.
I still think the lyrics are repetitive and annoying, but they seem so much more bearable when I watch the video and I don't know if it's the song growing on me or if it's because of Mike and Chester's insane hotness, because let me tell you....THEY ARE FUCKING HOT!!!!!
Yeah, I don't care about the rest of the band's participation in the video (s), but those two are fucking hot.